Age-old proverbs in new capsules (4)

When I started this series of blogs, I wondered of how others would take them. In a world overflowing with grief and sorrow, we need to search for some form of light and make an effort to view Life in a lighter vein, from a different perspective. Hence, here goes some more proverbs to ponder over …
Nothing succeeds like success – the path to success is lined with currency notes and favors. To get something, you have to part with something. These are today’s watch words. Hence, success has strings attached. Tiny, invisible strings to those not in the know.
People living in glass houses should not throw stones – unfortunately, those living in glass houses do not know that they are living in glass houses. We love to lay the blame at others’ feet not realizing that when we point a finger at somebody, the four remaining fingers point back at us.
Rome was not built in a day – this is common knowledge. However, when a minister announces a plan it is invariably a hasty plan - constructing a bridge or a flyover or a railway line or some such item can seldom get completed in the course of the tenure of the minister. Even if he get reelected next time there is no guarantee that he would get the same ministry. In the bargain, haste makes waste.
Slow and steady wins the race – tortoises have learnt the tricks of the trade. They have mastered the art of taking life head on in the fast track. Today we do not use multiplication tables or slide rules – we punch out the answers in the calculators. We do not write letters – we send SMS. Remember the kid William (created by Richmal Crompton). He had his own typical methods of spelling – spell the word just as it is pronounced. We have come to that state. So, ‘love’ today is ‘luv’.
Spare the rod and spoil the child – the days when children used to look up to elders as role models have vanished. Wielding ‘rods’ to make errant children fall in line is absolutely taboo since such cases are viewed very seriously by reps of Human Rights Commission. Result – you have to keep your fingers crossed, hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
Time and tide wait for no man – the hypothetical Time Machine could take you back in time. We have had several Hollywood movies on this theme – from the Space age, you can be transported to the Stone Age at the flick of a switch. Looking at the deteriorating qualities of various Public services, we complain that they are taking us back in time. On the other hand, we shoot videos at will on camera enabled mobiles and transmit them all over the countryside just to prove that we are moving with the times. As to tides, if our efforts to interlink all the major rivers do succeed, we could consider controlling the tides also.
To err is human, to forgive divine – yes, true even today. We have seen second rung political leaders shouting off their mouths in Public just to bolster their images and improve their standing with their superiors. Subsequently, they start whimpering for forgiveness. The best part of such incidents is that they are forgiven – in the interests of the Party. In Politics, you can commit murder and get away with it.

Age-old proverbs in new capsules (3)

This is the 3rd set of proverbs – old and time-tested bits of wisdom that have traveled down the centuries and are, in my inion, valid even today. Hope it does not bore you ….....
Every cloud has a silver lining – a stock phrase to soothe ruffled feathers. When faced with a problem that has no easy solution, it is customary to console the aggrieved by suggesting that he approach the actual Gods rather than the lesser Gods.
Exception proves the rule – some people thrive on exceptions. To them, anything out of the ordinary is not bound by any rule. When you board a train, it is expected that you will reach your destination in one piece. If not on schedule then probably several hours later. But – when you arrive at your destination in several pieces packed in a crate – the authorities say ‘this should not have happened. This is an exception.’
Give him an inch and he will take a yard – we see this happening regularly. In a bus, when you see an elderly person standing and offer him a seat by squeezing yourself, he reciprocates by going off to sleep by putting his head on your shoulder. Similar is the case in reserved compartments of long distance trains. You try to be nice to some short distance traveler and, in a very short time, regret the decision and wish that you had not succumbed to the ‘feel good’ factor!
Honesty is the best policy – therefore support only honest corruption. Do not be misled by so called well-wishers who try to win your confidence by saying that ‘aap ka chinta hamare upar chhor dijiye, hum sab kuch dekh lenge!’ He is bound to ditch you.
He laughs best who laughs last – laughter is an expression of happiness. Situations where one can laugh his heart out are fast vanishing. Laughing clubs have sprung up to remind us that laughter is the best medicine. Today, we have laughter forced upon us as comic interludes to break the monotony of song and dance sequences in our Bollywood movies. These movies transform our world into worlds of fantasy and make believe where lost siblings reunite in the last scene as the bad ones get thrashed. Everything miraculously fits into place in the last scene! How unreal!! How we miss the good old days of Laurel and Hardy, Mehmood and Kishore Kumar.
Look before you leap – this is especially true in the night when walking down to your house from the bus stop or the market. All the roads, lanes and by lanes in any city resemble craters on the Moon. Potholes abound – mischievous ones suggest that these are intentional creations of nearby slum dwellers. To rid you of your belongings. If you miss your step, they will shift you to the hospital.
Make hay while the Sun shines – thanks to technology, the Sun can be made to shine at our will. We have invented incubators – to control the production of poultry chickens. We also have scientific methods within our grasp of generating artificial ‘sunlight’ that can convert grass into hay. So hay need not wait for the Sun to shine.
Man proposes God disposes – you plan a journey and numerous hurdles appear. The train may be delayed indefinitely or be cancelled. The flight may not take off due to fog. If it does take off, it may not land at your destination – again due to bad weather. You feel these are what God had ordained. You are grossly mistaken. These are results of the ineptness of those in charge.

Age-old proverbs in new capsules (2)

In continuation to my previous blog, here is another set of proverbs and it is for my readers to judge how relevant these age-old proverbs are today. So here goes …
Better late than never – considering the poor condition of roads and breakdown of the transportation systems in cities, late coming has become the rule rather than the exception. If it is not the bus then it is the late running of local trains or the traffic jams or the sudden passing through of some political dignitary. Many organizations allow late coming within limits.
Barking dogs seldom bite – in the civilized world, this is what we have noticed about those who ae into politics. It is customary for them to shout off their mouths to impress the audience. They know that they are putting on a show, especially during elections. We also know that it’s all a drama - they make hollow promises and do not mean what they say. We grin and bear it because the show must go on.
Birds of a feather flock together – yes, initially they do – but only till such time that they find their firm footings by which time it all becomes a fight for the survival of the fittest with no holds barred. The cream of the youth flock to coaching classes to secure one of the first hundred slots and the annual JEEs for admission to prestigious Institutions are the best example.
Charity begins at home – how so very right. First you must keep your wife happy, she has to cook your meals and keep your bed warm. Then keep your kids happy otherwise they will not allow you to enjoy your news spots. Then keep the bartan majnewalee happy otherwise she may suddenly vanish – leaving your wife mad as a hatter.
Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant dies only but once – life today is indeed tough. We must have faced some situation or another when we have wished that we were dead and wanted to see how the world goes on without you. And, for some of us, this takes place a number of times in our life.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – this is what we must follow meticulously. When invited to a party, do not bring any gift. Instead bring a bouquet of flowers and an Archie’s card. Gifts have gone out of fashion because, usually, everyone brings the same or similar items – cheap products wrapped in attractive wrappings containing very little of use.
Do not count your chickens until they are hatched – this is especially true for those who love to purchase lottery tickets or participate in online lotteries that are reportedly doing roaring business. Do not begin building castles in the air because they will most certainly crash all around you like a pack of cards. Moreover, once the word leaks out that you have won a lottery, your life could become miserable. Becoming a millionaire is not a simple affair – remember the movie ‘Malamal Weekly’?

Age-old proverbs in new capsules (1)

All of us have been brought up on proverbs. These are tiny bits of wisdom that have been carried forward from time immemorial and are thoughts that one keeps adding to his super computer so that he can draw on them for inspiration when the time to do so comes.
Many may think that proverbs are irrelevant today but, the basics remain, only, their interpretations might have undergone transformation.
A stitch in time saves nine – take your damaged apparels to the neighborhood tailor to do minor repairs because getting new ones is a costly affair and is gradually going out of our reach. In case of trousers, go for Bermudas – these are quite fashionable and come cheap, cheaper than trousers. Or – when indoors, wrap a lungi around your waist and keep the trousers exclusively for the office use and for use on special occasions.
As you sow so you reap – you may not always get the desired benefit because of unpredictable weather – blame it on global warming. The crops may wither due to delayed monsoons or may get washed away due to flash floods or may be burnt down by people who do not like your facial expressions or your hair style.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy – the Jack of today is an all-rounder, he plays cricket as well as shines in his studies. The players of today are adopted from their cradle and some of them are supposed to play and do nothing else. None of them become dull because all play and no work makes them crorepatis ten times over, especially in cricket.
A burnt child dreads the fire – this is a misconception, he learns how to tame fires quite early in life, hence it does not hold any surprises for him. In some parts of the world they grow up with firearms and bombs. In India, firecracker manufacturers find their profit lines soaring when they entice child labor into their webs.
An apple a day keeps the Doctor away – yes, this can certainly happen but, if all of us started following this practice, the doctors would be out of jobs, their profession would go on the blink. Hence, this is not applicable.
A friend in need is a friend indeed – the days of real friends in the style of the 1964 film Dosti and the 1975 film Sholay are still very much there in Bollywood movies. All our heroes and heroines sacrifice their loves at the drop of a hat. This provides opportunities for sad mournful songs interspersed with show-it-all types of songs in flashback.
All that glitters is not gold – how very right, the metal that glitters today is actually platinum. Gold seems to have lost much of its shine and charms.
A bird in hand is worth two in the bush – for some professions job opportunities are there for their asking. Yes – the software experts. Theirs is a high profile and one of the best paying professions. Job jumping is but second nature to them. They always have more than one bird in hand and are able to keep their employers on tenterhooks.
These are just a few proverbs that come to mind at the moment. The list is a long one from A to Z and I am still in A. Some of these proverbs transcend the barriers of language and equivalents are popular in regional languages. I hope to continue this series for some time.